My Take on Mental Health for All

Mental Health Awareness Month was started back in 1949 by Mental Health America as a way to fight stigma, provide support, educate the public, and advocate for policies that support people with mental illness as well as their families. This May I’m honored to be sharing my own story and experiences in the hope of helping others. My biggest goal this month is to support and spread NAMI’s (National Alliance on Mental Illness) 2020 message of Mental Health for All.

Before my episode and diagnosis in October 2018, I had struggles with my mental health. Most people close to me never noticed anything. A majority of my struggle was internal, but it also looked alot like a workaholic, who loved their job. I was known for my bubbly and vibrant personality, but I would frequently push myself too hard or too far and create burn out. Work was always my top priority and even when there were signs that I should pull back and focus on myself first, work remained the top priority.

In the heat of a busy work week I would fall into unhealthy habits. Going an entire day without eating or drinking much water was commonplace. Sleeping four hours a night seemed normal, especially when my body would wake up in the morning and feel ready to go. Not one sign of exhaustion. I would sit on the couch after a long day and wonder how I could get my brain to quiet down. How could I stop the stream of consciousness that was constantly running through possible scenarios that I should be preparing and planning for? 

When I look back on those years where I was fighting to find the words to describe what I was feeling, I always think that there could have been more education. Everyone experiences stress. Some more than others, but the concept of stress—being under pressure—is something that humans can relate to. In high school there are many stressors. The expectations of parents, friends, coaches, or teachers. The build up of preparing for college or life after high school creates emotions. Decision paralysis is a real thing, and all throughout high school, there’s the stress of functioning for the first time in a world where you make many of your own decisions. 

I don’t remember talking about stress at ALL in high school. When I got to college the situation only got more complicated. As a student who always took a full course load and worked 20 hours a week I was not familiar with idle time. Being busy was my accomplishment and certainly one I was proud of. I enjoyed thinking about my future and saw every possibility as something I could achieve if I worked hard enough. With every accomplishment I gained confidence and pride. With every failure I blamed myself and looked for any opportunity to regain control. Most of the time I was happy. I found a double major that I enjoyed and was able to balance my course load each semester, but I still felt stress. 

My body and my mood seemed to go in cycles. I could have endless energy for a week or more when I had tests, large papers due and a full social calendar. Then I would lay away for a few days at a time eating junk food and binging TV shows. I think I minimized these mood cycles and overwhelming emotions that came during the high highs and low lows because in many ways they were similar to my friends and classmates. College is stressful and intense emotions are a part of the experience. This is also true in life.

For me, my episode and severe mental health diagnosis brought me clarity. It provided an explanation for the way I felt and the challenges I had been experiencing. It also gave me a reason to prioritize my mental health above all else. If I had been knowledgeable and educated about mental health prior to my episode, maybe my roller coaster peaks wouldn’t be so high, but I would still have bipolar disorder. 

In the weeks following my episode and hospitalization I was in outpatient treatment Monday through Friday from 8am to 4pm. I learned so much about my brain and my emotions. I identified triggers and added tools to my tool belt that I still use daily to manage my mental health. I’m in a much better place now than I was before my diagnosis. I attribute most of that to what I learned and the resources I have.

I still have highs and lows, good days and bad, but overall I feel more balanced. Today, I set boundaries in my personal and professional life that support healthier behaviors. I take my medication every day, which allows me to get more sleep. I pay attention to my emotions and ask myself frequently what I have the ability to control. I prioritize my mental health because I have a mental health diagnosis and experienced a very scary episode. If I had learned about mental health and the importance of mental health for all sooner in my life, maybe I would have worked to prioritize myself sooner too.

1 in 5 adults in America experience a mental illness, including me. NAMI works to address people with mental illness and provide localized support in the form of free resources, education and political lobbying. It has peer support groups, as well as support groups for family members. There is a program created for high school students to learn from medical professionals and people with mental health diagnoses about what to look out for, or how to talk about the struggles you’re dealing with. NAMI even has a police de-escalation training program to train officers responding to mental health calls. All of these resources are provided free to the community and help to slay the stigma that still exists about mental health and asking for or getting help. If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health check out your local NAMI chapter.

This month I will continue to spread awareness about the great things NAMI is doing, and am excited to be joining NAMI Greater Milwaukee in their 2020 walk to raise money and awareness for the cause. Check out my fundraising page to learn more and join my walk team if you’re interested in virtually walking with hundreds of thousands of others across the country on Sunday May 31st to spread awareness about mental health and the importance of Mental Health for All.