Bipolar is me.

Bipolar disorder at a very basic level is ‘a disorder associated with episodes of mood swings ranging from depressive lows to manic highs’. It does not mean that one minute I am happy and chatting with you about the weather, and the next I’m screaming at you about a deadline. 

People have a picture of bipolar disorder, and I’m here to tell you that picture is not encompassing of all the ways people living with bipolar disorder actually look. 

I have a job.

I’ve actually worked for the same company for 5 years, next month. I do Business Outreach which means that on any given day I could be educating a room of a few hundred business owners, hosting an event, attending a networking function or writing a blog post. I have a fast paced job in a stressful environment. I have certainly cried in a closet or two in my life, but I also have never lost my cool on a client or sent a berating email to someone outside my orbit. Any of those things could happen to anyone. Someone with mental illness, or someone without. 

I’m in a relationship.

I’ve been so fortunate to find someone who understands and accepts me, but half of that relationship is still maintained by me. I work every day to hold up my end of the deal, and even though I struggle with mental illness and have especially needed to rediscover myself post diagnosis, I am able to be in a happy and healthy relationship. It takes work, but that’s any relationship. We’re better when we communicate, and that’s any relationship too. Your mind can play tricks on you, but when you have a partner you can talk to, it’s a lot easier to uncover the tricks and calm your mind.

I’m happy.

I have a life with ups and downs. Every day is not sunshine and roses, but they’re not all clouds and rain either. The biggest lesson I’ve learned through my diagnosis with this disorder, and especially through living my life post diagnosis, is that you never know what the next person is going through. Even if you have a label or a word to describe them, you may not even know what that truly means. 

Bipolar is me, and I don’t think it’s what you may expect.