The impact of safety and security on my mental health
Since way back when I was a middle schooler and would walk home alone after babysitting jobs, I’ve known to be ‘aware of my surroundings.’ I grew up in a “nice” area, a suburb of Milwaukee, but there are some “not so nice” spots very nearby. Sometimes the ‘being aware’ was conditional like late at night, or in certain places, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve realized that while I act aware, and make sure I’m not taking unnecessary risks (like running at night with headphones in both ears), I don’t often walk around afraid.
In 2011, I did a planned travel study abroad program. Visiting 9 countries in 4 months: another period of my life where I needed to be aware and on guard. Making sure I wasn’t a pick pocket target, or taking drinks from strangers in bars. These things get young American students in trouble, far away from home. Moving to a new city in 2014 brought my first time navigating public transit at all hours, as my main form of transportation. San Francisco felt significantly safer than some places in my hometown, mainly because I didn’t fear people had guns. Maybe that was naive of me, but I’d still argue that crime involving gun violence, and the rate of murders from gunfire are far higher in Milwaukee than the Bay Area.
Now as an adult living in Milwaukee, I’m in a neighborhood less than a mile from where I grew up. I feel comfortable taking my dog out at all hours of the night, and while I’m trained to always lock my doors everytime I exit and enter, I’ve never felt unsafe in my neighborhood. Until Friday, June 18th, 2021.
At 5:05pm Tony’s car was stolen while parked right in front of our home. We had taken Oscar to play fetch around 4pm and got home around 4:30pm. At that time we saw the car safely parked and went inside to make dinner. Before we were ready to plate up and eat, Tony went outside to move his car into the garage. Kia and Hyundai cars have been stolen at alarming rates in the Milwaukee area for the past 9 months. What we quickly learned is that the back passenger side window on the vehicles breaks without alarm, so thieves often use those ‘easy break’ tools for if and when you accidentally lock a baby or animal in a vehicle. From there they jump through the window, rip down the plastic part covering the ignition switch, and remove the device where you insert your key. After that, all they need is a USB port, (so any phone wall charger or car charging port works!) to start the car and drive off. It took less than 5 minutes, and it happened while we were home, without us knowing.
After not finding his car out front, Tony and I checked the garage thinking maybe he forgot he already parked it away safely. Never did we think it would be broken into and taken in broad daylight. Once we came to terms with the fact that it was stolen we had to go to the local police precinct and file a report. It took some time, but the officer was kind. It was their 16th reported Kia stolen that day, in District 3 alone. On the way over to the station, we let our downstairs neighbors know what happened and they hopped on the NextDoor App to see if anyone had seen or knew anything. Wildly enough, someone had posted images of it being driven less than 5 blocks from our place at 5:15pm. The neighbor who posted the photos suspected it was stolen after the driver tossed trash out the window.
After calling the insurance company, there wasn’t much more we could do. Just hope and wait for the police to find it being driven, or abandoned. We dug deeper into the neighborhood app and saw how often and close to our home these carjackings were happening. That was alarming, but so was information shared by police on Sunday night.
Around 7:10pm I was loading the dishwasher after dinner when I heard my downstairs neighbor screaming ‘HEY! GET THE FU*K OUT OF HERE! HEY!’ I ran out the front door and found Sam, breathless and clearly flustered. He had watched 2 teens speed off in a stolen SUV, after nearly stealing our neighbor’s Kia Sportage. Ironically the same model, year and color of Tony’s car. We called 911 and the police were there instantly. Unfortunately they couldn’t pursue the car, but we gave a strong description of the vehicle and 2 boys we saw. Both between 10-16 years old, which is the main demographic of these thieves. It’s a gang initiation activity, particularly because of how easy it is, and because the Milwaukee district attorney doesn’t prosecute them strongly because they’re minors.
After fingerprinting the vehicle and giving it back to our neighbor, the cops told us they were glad we called, but in the future we shouldn’t shout and confront them. We should just grab a pen and paper and write down as much as we can to report to the police. “These kids often have guns, and they’re not afraid to pull them out. We’d much rather you be without your car, than dead,” one officer told us.
That night I couldn’t sleep. I had read too much on the apps, and it wasn’t just the fear of guns being so present and persistent in our neighborhood, but also the fear of the high speed cars, as these kids hit 60-70 mph on residential side streets. There have been 2 major car accidents in the area in the past week. Observers who reported it on the NextDoor App still don’t know if a biker who was hit survived. My entire neighborhood suddenly felt like a warzone. Being in the wrong place at the wrong time used to be half the battle. Now that place is my front yard, and the time is anytime. At night I hear the fireworks going off starting around 9pm to midnight or later and wonder which are ‘masking gunshots’? as they say on the app.
Some people might think, ‘well maybe it’s time to move.’ Not us. We like this area! And I’m planning to purchase my great aunt’s house less than a mile from where we currently live, this December. It was built by my great grandfather in 1936, and I’m really excited to keep it in the family. The neighborhood is diverse. People of all ages, backgrounds and cultures. Homeowners and renters. There are other ways to create solutions rather than leave the area. I could get into a whole blog post talking about the unfortunate situations and horrific things these 10-16 year boys are subjected to that make them steal these cars, but in all honesty, what I’ve been thinking of more the past week and a half are all the BIPOC kids who live in my area and are actually just riding bikes with friends, or running home after practice and being targeted or mistaken by local home owners as the “Kia Boys” - the group of gang kids stealing these cars by the masses. I don’t want my neighborhood to become an unsafe place for young boys enjoying summer, whose ‘wrong place wrong time’ is also their backyard. So I’m working with that in the forefront of my mind as we continue to stay proactive and vigilant on unofficial neighborhood watch.
Last Monday night Tony’s car was found. A woman who lives less than 10 blocks from us uploaded a photo of the car parked badly in front of her house for the past 2 days. She suspected it was stolen, and then came across Tony’s post confirming the license plate. He jogged over to make sure it was his car, and I quickly ran from drinks with friends to grab my car and meet him. We had to wait for the police to dust the vehicle for prints which took a little over an hour, but by the end of the night we had the car safely parked at his parents, waiting to be fixed. They had driven over 130 miles but somehow dumped it so close to us once they were done. The only damage was the broken back window and the ignition. Many of these Kias are found partially totaled, or worse with broken or missing parts. They take them joy riding and to run drug errands with zero care for what happens to them.
We have the car back, but the heightened anxiety remains. After those first few nights I was able to return to restful sleep, but the heightened awareness and fear is more prominent. I ordered security cameras and mounted them today to get full coverage on our street for up to 3 houses in each direction. This may not prevent things from happening, but at least we’ll have more information next time if something does.
I met with my therapist today and talked through some of the emotions, racing thoughts and anxious feelings. She acknowledged that it was normal, and gave me credit for taking a few proactive measures to help myself feel better. The next step is a meeting with a psychiatrist to ensure I have all the possible tools in my tool belt to keep a sense of safety and security while also being honest about what’s been going on in my area lately. I’m hoping that each little step and piece of information can help me continue to feel safe and secure, but anytime something happens to you or someone you know, that sense of security you have starts to shake: ever so slightly, or more significantly depending on the situation. A realization that you’re not impervious from horrible things happening to you. Mental health is a constant battle and even when you’re balanced through things like medication, exercise, therapy and a support system, life can still happen, and life events can still occur to tip you off balance.
